When my daughter was very young, we were discussing the Bible verse ‘Jesus wept’, and how Jesus raised his dear friend Lazarus from the dead. Thinking over the story, she asked me, “If Jesus Knew that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, why did ‘Jesus weep’?  GOOD QUESTION…why did ‘Jesus weep’?

          The story, found in John 11: 1-44 tells us that Jesus did not rush off to heal his sick friend when he first heard of Lazarus’ illness. Instead, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was until he knew that Lazarus had died. It was not his intent to heal Lazarus but to raise him from the dead…John 11:11-15. When they arrived, Martha and Mary, Lazarus’ sisters, greeted them. ‘When Jesus saw them weeping, and the Jews who came with them also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved’…John 11:33 and ‘Jesus began to weep’…John 11:35. Jesus did not weep because Lazarus was dead, Jesus wept because of the pain he knew that the others felt, and he was deeply moved and troubled by their grief. Jesus understood grief.

So, what is grief?

Grief is the multitude of emotions that we may experience as we travel through our journey after we have lost someone or something that has meaning in our lives.  It is the feelings that we have when we realize that someone or something it is gone forever. Grief is like starting a race that never seems to end, and sometimes it doesn’t. Grief is a ‘life changer’. Life as we know it ceases to exist. Sometimes the change is small and sometimes it is huge, whichever it is, things will never be the same.

Grief can affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Physically we may feel lethargic, weak and tired, just wanting to stay in bed, spending hours a day sleeping or unable to sleep at all. We may not want to eat, neglecting our health and/or hygiene. Mentally we may not want to be around other people or we may not want to be alone. We may keep assuring everyone, “I’m ok, I’m ok,” when we know that we are not. Emotionally we may encounter one, some, or all of the ‘5 Stages of Grief’, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

Unfortunately, there is no cure for grief. Of course, the symptoms can be massed with anti-depressants, pills for anxiety, and sleeping pills, but these are only temporary. The truth is, “the only thing that will truly help is to Journey through it, and no two journeys are the same.” For this reason much has been written about grief, but the important thing to know is, don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve. Your grief is your grief, you own it. There is however, healthy grieving and unhealthy grieving, and it is important to recognize which is which. If you find that it is difficult for you to continue with your daily routine like functioning on your job, or caring for your family, and as time goes on nothing seems to get better, know that there are people who can help. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help such as, Grief Counselors, Grief Companions, and Support Groups. Often it is helpful to be around others who understand grieving and are sympathetic.

   In future articles we will examine more about the grieving process, what it is, how to care for ourselves and others who are grieving, and most important, ‘The Healing Powers of Grief.’ If we are open and willing to receive, through grief we can learn much about ourselves that we never tapped into before. Remember, it is the Christ within that understands grief, and he is there to not only walk with us on our physical journey, but to walk with us on our spiritual one.

Much love and many blessings.                                                                   
Rev. Morgan K. Alexander                                                                    
Puzzle PEACE Project Ministries

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